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Funeral Costs

updated on 8 Comments on Funeral Costs

Just had a call from a lady who has already pre-paid a funeral at $8000 and has been invited to another consultation (sales) meeting.

Apparently, the amount so far only covers the plot, the digging of the grave, and the headstone and so she is yet to be sold transport (limo), chapel, flowers, coffin/casket etc.

The total price will end up around $16000 – $24,000, so double or more than the original quotation from the one and only Funeral Director they spoke to.

It pays to shop around. Some better priced funeral directors on my web page.

https://www.alifecelebrant.com.au/about/funeral-industry-people/

 

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About your very balanced views about SSM.

updated on 385 Comments on About your very balanced views about SSM.

Hi Lou,

About your very balanced views about SSM.

I only know one thing – that the SS couples have a different wiring in their brains.

Its not their fault, as they have not been brought up like that, neither by their parents nor by the society in which they live..

On the other hand they had to fight all their lives and had to live an unhappy life, because of their mental situation.

Who then wired their brains the way they are?

NO ONE ELSE BUT GOD.

So when we criticise them, and make them feel to be a sinner, we are in fact criticising God, and His wisdom and creation.

And what is marriage? God DID NOT MARRY Adam and Eve. Even the Bible does not say that.

So marriage is not a divine thing. Its a relationship created by the society  in order to ensure its sustenance.

Without marriage, responsibilities to children, and rights to property and succession will always create conflicts.

In actual fact, this must have been the basis of creating the institution of marriage.

In many tribal societies initially, there were no fixed partners and that always created conflicts.

So, women were considered as “owned” by the man who kept them, and who looked after them.

They were his property. That was the time of polygamy,as there were few men, due to more deaths of men due to tribal wars.

As society became more civilized, more laws for control came in to avoid conflicts.

This was the basis of monogamy.

So God neither defined the concept of marriage nor created the institution of marriage – much less decided that its the union of a man and woman

God’s rules cannot be violated – rocks do not rise in air of their own without an external force. Newton or Einstein – none can do that.

To think that we have the divine right to say what two people can do or not is to be dominating.

Because we have the majority so minority can be crushed.

Imagine if there was a society of homosexuals, where they were in majority, and heterosexuals were in mionority, and

They dictated that any heterosexual union is illegal, how will the proponents of anti SSM feel?

As far as the Marriage Act is considered, if it violates the constitutional rights of SSM then it should be thrown out by the court.Constitution is supreme.

Regards

Pravin Gupta 

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Another happy couple

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Another happy couple signed their Notice of Intent today while surrounded by lizards and other reptiles and lots of rescued furry friends. I do have the greatest job in the world.

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Australian Marriage Law Postal Survey

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The Commonwealth Marriage Act 1961 currently only allows marriage between a man and a woman.

The survey being conducted by the Australia Bureau of Statistics (ABS) asks one question:

should the law be changed to allow same-sex couples to marry?

The Postal Survey will close on Tuesday 7 November 2017 and survey results will be published on Wednesday 15 November on the ABS website.

Depending on the outcome of the Postal Survey, the Australian Parliament may (or may not) decide to amend the law to allow two people to marry, regardless of their sex.

If the Parliament approves such an amendment, same-sex couples wishing to get married will need to wait until the new law comes into force before lodging their Notice of Intent to Marry.

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We welcome your comments

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We welcome your comments, but the following things are not permitted:

  • vulgar or explicit language,
  • name-calling, threats, and
  • any language that insults a person’s race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, or disability.

Please try to use correct spelling, punctuation, and capitalization as much as possible.

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Marriage Equality

updated on 3 Comments on Marriage Equality
In 2013 the High Court of Australia found that the definition of “marriage” in the Constitution includes same-sex unions. This made it clear that the Federal Parliament has the power to enact marriage equality. In 2014, the Howard Government amended the Marriage Act 1961, to include a definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman, to the exclusion of all others.
For an argument to be valid and have impact, it must be truthful and persuasive.
Same sex relationships are a reality. I think we all accept that.
If you know me, you will know that I am a Christian, so why on earth would I suggest to anyone to vote Yes in the upcoming national survey on allowing same sex marriage, in Australia?
When I was a child, bigoted persons taught me to detest homosexuals but by the time I was a teenager, I realised that people are people, regardless of race, colour, creed, or sexual orientation and that the bigoted views imposed on me as a young child, were simply unacceptable and inconsistent to Christian belief just as hate and bigotry are unacceptable.
When Jesus said, ‘love one another as I have loved you’ (John 13:34-35), he did not say ‘unless they are gay, or of a different race or colour or religion’.
I have also read Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-5, Psalm 24:1 and Psalm 66:7 which are often quoted by some and saw nothing that objects to the love experienced by same sex couples.
If supporters of a no vote have any real reason other than bigotry and determined discrimination, I am yet to hear it.
You may ask, how is it discrimination. Well, the words same sex marriage are misleading. It is really about human rights and equality.

Here is some of what I have witnessed:
• A same sex couple may be together for many years but when one partner is hospitalised, the other partner has no say whatsoever and may not even be allowed to sit at the bedside, not being a next of kin. Marriage would solve that injustice.
• A man was shunned by his family for over 20 years because he was gay but on his death, that same family claimed his estate & excluded the mans’ grieving partner from the funeral. The surviving partner could not even access the superannuation they had both contributed to because ‘he was not next of kin’. Marriage would have solved that.
• When a female Couple separated after 10 years one was told she had no legal right to the common assets as ‘they were not married’ and because they are of the same sex, a de-facto marriage relationship would not be recognised. A long and arduous court battle will have to occur. A marriage would have simplified the legalities.
• A School principal and his partner adopted a boy who had been rescued from his abusive heterosexual parents. That fine young man later married a charming woman and that couple’s son now spends his weekends with his two grandfathers on their farm just out of Sydney. Equality in Marriage would have meant that his adoptive parents could also have married.
• A local Catholic boy was fearful of telling his parents he was gay, was always accompanied by a female friend at all family functions to conceal his sexuality, and even at his own 21st birthday, his long-term partner sat at another table, also accompanied by a female. Though their relationship is stable and loving for over 10 years, they cannot marry.
• A primary school aged boy sent to a psychiatrist by his religious parents to ‘cure’ him of his homosexuality and the treatments continued through high school. That money might have been better spent on his parents getting counselling on how to love and accept their child (Thank God, he wasn’t around in the 1960s when they used electro-shock therapy).
• There was highly publicised couple in South Australia who had married overseas but as their same-sex marriage was not recognised in Australia, when one of the couple was hospitalised and subsequently died, the bigoted family who had alienated their son because he was homosexual, flew over and dictated his treatment and were later given his body following which they held a funeral to which the grieving partner was not permitted entry and at which the eulogy referred to some of the deceased’ many girlfriends when he was confused teenager, but there was no mention of his marriage. – Marriage acceptance in Australia would have changed all of that injustice.

Now that you have read those examples. How would you react & feel, if this same level of discrimination was applied to you.

  • Here is an interesting argument from Ireland before Ireland made marriage equality legal.
    https://youtu.be/ganRbr-WBiI
  • Anyone in NSW or Victoria has been able to register a legal relationship at the registry of Births, Deaths& Marriages, for some years now but few same sex couples take it up as it is simply a contract, not a public ceremony. Even so, society has not been harmed by its existence.

WHY DO AUSTRALIAN SAME-SEX COUPLES WANT LEGAL MARRIAGE?
• A legal marriage offers equal protection under the law.
• With a legal marriage, you are immediately the next-of-kin.
• A legal marriage offers all the citizenship rights of The Constitution.
• A legal marriage is immediately valid, unlike de facto rights.
• A legal marriage offers immediate joint property and inheritance rights.
• A legal marriage offers undeniable rights to benefits and insurance.
• The rights of a partner in a legal marriage cannot be denied by blood relations.
• A legal marriage is a sworn, binding contract that can only be broken in a court of Family Law.

I have read some of the material and arguments that the Coalition for Marriage and the Australian Christian Lobby have propagated. I have also read the statement by Archbishop Anthony Fisher, Catholic Archbishop of Sydney.
In reading and hearing what the Coalition for Marriage and the Australian Christian Lobby, have to say, I found their material was filled with so many inaccuracies, fabrications, and gross exaggerations to the point that I have to admit that I actually laughed out loud at some of the ridiculous, truly absurd, claims and hysterical nonsense. The assertions that “father-daughter, cousins, siblings, transgender man and his grandchild, etc will be able to marry are simply ridiculous, and will most definitely not be allowed if the definition of marriage was reverted to its pre-2014 original wording in the Marriage Act 1961 and was extended to include persons of the same sex who are over 18 as per the 2013 High Court decision.

You may not be aware that people have been able to ‘register’ relationship in NSW and Victoria for years, see application to register a relationship [PDF 150kb] and none of the nonsense claimed by COM and ACL have occurred, or that over 25 countries around the world have already legalised same sex marriage. See http://www.pewforum.org/2017/08/08/gay-marriage-around-the-world-2013/

Put simply, if the same sex couple down the road decided to marry, I know it would not impact in any way on my 40-year heterosexual marriage whatsoever, so how could it impact on any other person’s marriage?

Again, I ask, Do you think that if you wanted to marry the person of your dreams, the person that you love with all your heart, that you should have to ask every Australian permission? Here is an interesting video from Ireland about their referendum undertaken before Ireland made marriage equality legal.
https://youtu.be/ganRbr-WBiI

Here are some more articles of interest.
http://www.theage.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/love-is-the-primary-gospel-value-elite-catholic-schools-defy-church-leadership-on-samesex-marriage-20170829-gy66eo.html?btis
http://www.theage.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/catholics-defy-church-leadership-to-become-biggest-backers-of-samesex-marriage-poll-20170825-gy49ea.html
Article on Suicide rates among homosexuals.https://theconversation.com/why-do-so-many-gay-and-bisexual-men-die-from-suicide-78587

Thank you

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What to be aware of if holding Beach Weddings

updated on 3 Comments on What to be aware of if holding Beach Weddings

A beach wedding can be beautiful but there are a few special considerations.

I surveyed close to 800 Celebrants and here is the summary,  of what they had to say about beach weddings and how to make them memorable.

59 tips for Beach Weddings:

1) Pick the right beach and location on or near the beach to make your beach wedding is just as romantic and idyllic as you’ve ever dreamed of by planning it right. Despite the wind sand – the ocean is nature at her very best and lends to the most magical backdrop
2) Make sure a permit is obtained for the site, noting permissible guest numbers, any sound restrictions, and time period where applicable and comply with the restrictions spelled out in the permit.
a. Arrange permit/s (re clean-up requirements, restrictions around use of umbrellas, chairs, marquees, flags, signs or arbours, licences for alcohol and/or catering and use of toilet facilities etc.).
b. On the Gold Coast no mats, walkways, arbours etc are permitted and there is a one hour time limit including set up, ceremony, and take down/ pack up.
3) Transport – Consider the distance to and ease of access to the ceremony site. Can your guest all get there?
4) An area on an esplanade, or on flat sand/grass/boardwalk is best but avoid wet sand areas.
5) A spot with beach view removes some of the hazards and makes for nice photos
6) A shaded area such as sails, a gazebo, or a natural cove will offer wind protection and reduce glare.
7) Check if you will have to share the use of the area (public) or is an exclusive site available.
8) You cannot stop the public from joining in so watch out for beach cricket, footie games and riders bursting through the middle of any guests.
9) Plodding through sand, can be laborious
10) Be prepared to tolerate jet ski, party and wave sounds
11) Watch out for seagulls, biting bugs, wind and water, and light reflecting from sand and sea
12) Avoid high heels,
13) Use insect repellent, sunscreen and umbrellas and have bottles of water available for guests
14) Have lots of weights and clips on hand to hold down paperwork, table clothes, umbrellas etc.
15) Sand can play havoc with sound equipment so have it protectively covered, including during transport across sand.
16) Deeper voices can carry better over the sound of waves crashing.
17) Always have a Plan B as weather can be unpredictable.
18) Always set-up above the high tide point and NEVER on wet sand or you will meet the waves
19) Wear suitable beach footwear or go barefoot (sand gets into everything and can burn)
20) Watch out for wind & sand blasting,
21) Waves sound can inhibit the ability to hear what is going on.
22) If seating, lay a platform to prevent chairs sinking into the sand and throwing guests over
23) Having a basket of thongs or slippers can be useful for the comfort of guests
24) The mornings usually has less wind, glare and more stable/pleasant weather
25) Consider having signing table off the beach, or undercover e.g. a nearby cabin veranda.
26) Be prepared with lots of clips for your ceremony script,
27) Check wind direction for interference with the mic and sound
28) The Couple, guests and Celebrant should not be looking into the sun, as scrunch face ruins photos and can glare headaches and the Celebrant may not be able to read the script
29) If the bride is wearing a veil, how will it be managed if there is a breeze
30) Getting down onto the beach and back again, can be a challenge.
31) Elderly and disabled guest may not be able to access the beach
32) Be aware of the possibility of nasties lurking in the sand, semi-naked gawkers.
33) Avoid extreme reflections from sun
34) On the west coast, watch out for the ‘Fremantle Doctor’!
35) Where allowed, a large sheet of Perspex, matting or boarding can be buried just under the surface of the sand to provide stability so the bridal party, seats, tripods, sound equipment, signing table etc.
36) Be on time. The tide and sun wait for no one. You could be washed out or the temp can drop to a very cold.
37) Look for a sheltered area but not too close to the rocks where there will be extra wae sounds.
38) Sand gets in everywhere.
39) A pull along cart that can be used on sand will help with the setup.
40) Wear a hat and lots of sunscreen
41) The exchanging of rings should be on top of a mat in case the ring gets dropped and if the mat slopes inward to centre, it will be easier to quickly recover the ring without it rolling off the mat.
42) Check the tide beforehand
43) Check with the photographer about lighting etc.
44) Ensure that there is a plan B!!!
45) All mics should have a wind sock for your mic.
46) Have a rehearsal the day before at the same time to check where tide, sound, sun, interruptions etc.
47) Use grey paper as it reduces the glare compared to white paper.
48) Bad weather option Portable music Simple decor Contact the council Arrange seating Microphones Beach style beach wedding checklist
49) Arrange for an usher, guide or escort to guide and assists guests
50) Check the pathway to the site to avoid rocky areas, or difficult dunes.
51) Provide your guests with a simple map if the location is secluded or not directly in front of a landmark.
52) Ensure that your chosen music is amplified and doesn’t require mains power.
53) It also needs to be powerful enough to be audible above shouts from other beach goers, jet skis and high winds.
54) All floral arrangements, greenery or sprays should be low-line and be pegged, securely tied or have weights or stones in the vase or base so as not to come loose as the beach breeze picks up.
55) Adapt your clothing style to the surroundings, so comfortable as possible.
56) Avoid longer veils,
57) Guests may arrive 20-30 minutes before the bride, remain for the ceremony itself, and then stay for photos afterwards, so offer seating if possible.
58) Offer favours such as sunscreen, thongs, fans, bottled water, ice creams & insect repellent.
59) And did I mention always have a Plan B : In the event of excessive heat, wind or rain, you will need to have an alternate/indoor venue and someone to direct guests.

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The Four Elements of Love

updated on Leave a Comment on The Four Elements of Love
paraphrased from : http://blog.sivanaspirit.com/elements-love-according-buddha/

Buddha taught that to experience true love, you have the qualities of:
• Loving-kindness,
• compassion,
• joy, and
• inclusiveness (equanimity).

Applied on a daily basis, these principles cause romance to blossom.

LOVING-KINDNESS -First, let’s deal with what true love is and isn’t:
If you’re making the other person cry every other day, that isn’t love at all.
This is because true love should generate joy- not pain. And that starts with making serious efforts to understand how to meet your significant other’s needs…whether or not it’s easy.

COMPASSION
Secondly, compassion is an important element of love and he emphasizes that in order for love to grow, one must practice compassion, which in turn, will also grow.
One compassionate word, action, or thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring them joy.

JOY
Thirdly, true love has the ability to make someone suffer less. There is an art to suffering and once you grasp it, you’ll suffer less and less. Being in the moment is truly joyous!
Better still, if you help your partner suffer less, then that’s half the battle won.

EQUANIMITY
The fourth element of true love is upeksha, which means equanimity, nonattachment, nondiscrimination, even- mindedness, or letting go. Upa means “over,” and iksha means “to look.” You climb the mountain to be able to look over the whole situation, not bound by one side or the other.
If your love has attachment, discrimination, prejudice, or clinging, it’s not true love.
As long as we see ourselves as the one who loves and the other as the one who is loved, as long as we value ourselves more than others or see ourselves as different from others, we do not have true equanimity.
We have to put ourselves “into the other person’s skin” and become one with him if we want to understand and truly love him. When that happens, there is no “self’ and no “other.”
Simple yet so practical, isn’t it?

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Auslan interpreters can be free for Funerals

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The NSW Deaf Society has advised that Auslan interpreters are their specialist area and are used when deaf people have a preferred method of communication using Auslan. They have a list of interpreters available on their website https://deafsocietynsw.org.au/interpreting/interpreters Often for weddings, or other celebrations, deaf people pay for the interpreter/captions through their NDIS package and …

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Just back from the AFCC Conference

updated on 1 Comment on Just back from the AFCC Conference

Spent three days in training, networking and refreshing ideas with over 120 Celebrants from all over Australia. Was amazing and exhausting  but lots of awesome ideas. I get so much support for the members and committee at the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants (AFCC). Looked at Ceremony idea, regulations, finding the ‘Sparkle; Leadership, designing a …