The most common question following a suicide, is ‘why’.
I have tried to answer that question in this poem. If you know of anyone who is troubled, you will find a list of counselling services on my helpful people tab
You ask me why
(copyright: Lou Szymkow, December 2017)
I know you didn’t hear me, I didn’t tell you all,
I knew you couldn’t understand
And besides, I didn’t want to burden you all
So I didn’t tell you everything,
it was my burden to struggle through.
I am not a coward, you know, I just couldn’t find a way to undo,
why I had carry this burden, this inhuman demand.
How could you have helped me, when I myself couldn’t understand?
I tried to fight daily but it just wouldn’t go away.
I knew I couldn’t impose on you and so knew I had to go away.
My life was often wonderful and there were times when I felt blessed.
I had no thought of dying, just of finding rest,
My body was a vessel, my thoughts and brain in disdain,
I just couldn’t live a life, without ending this wretched pain.
It was just too much to bear, this suffocating, darkest air.
but now it is such a relief to see the sun once more
I am free at last, there is sunshine evermore,
So remember me as freedom, in everlasting joy,
I lived and loved, worked and played, I tried to do it all.
So think of only the best of me, and feel the warmth of a better deed,
Keep me in your memories, and let loves gentle thought always be your creed